Summer Holiday

The first holiday that I went on was in 1970. It was just after my 14th birthday. We went to Pontin's  holiday camp on Jersey for a week. It was a profound, and emotional, experience. I'm not attempting irony or humour in saying that. My dad had died the previous summer and the only reason we were at last able to afford a holiday was the insurance payout. Thinking about it now, it wasn't the most salubrious set-up. The chalet was a room with 2 sets of bunk beds, and a small bathroom (I think there was a bathroom), and it had to contain my mam and 3 boys. At the time it seemed amazing. We flew there from Newcastle. It was the first time any of us had flown and I remember it as noisy, bouncy and exciting. The holiday camp was actually a pretty quiet place, located on a headland and surrounded by lovely small coves and beaches. In looking for pictures to accompany this post I've found out that it's now abandoned and derelict, and I found this aerial photo.

 It looks a bit grim in the picture, but the sun shone every day when we were there. We made friends with some kids from Essex and I fell in love with a girl called Wendy from Westcliff on Sea. That's probably a bit of an exaggeration, given that the high point of our relationship involved us sitting on the swings at dusk, holding hands and talking. I think it was probably the first time since my dad had died that I talked to somebody detached from that drama, somebody who didn't know the story and who was prepared to listen as I told it.

I hated going home. Whitley Bay seemed drab and grim. Our house, still full of memories, felt claustrophobic. I'd seen the possibilities of a world outside our bubble of grief and then they'd gone. Nothing had changed. I was angry and depressed, and this was compounded by the phalanx of well-meaning adults who guarded my mam and who kept telling me how grateful I should be for having had such a wonderful, and expensive, experience. I realise now that it was life-changing. I didn't suddenly come to terms with the loss of my dad - that would take many more years - but I knew that I wanted to get out into the world, to escape the confines of my family and my home town.

I started this post because I wanted to tell you about the fantastic holiday we had this summer. Funny where your thoughts can take you.